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Lesson 7: What does "Rock, Scissors, Paper" mean?

Students of English must learn more than just words. They must learn how words are used. This comedy video is funny because of the way Mr. Martin speaks. He is talking about a kids game, but explains it in a factual way. See the complete text below with my comments in parentheses. (Parentheses are ().)

When I thought about it, I like "rock, scissors, paper" two-thirds. (Now the audience must think, "Why?".) Do you know what I mean? Rock... breaks scissors. These scissors are bent, they're destroyed, I can't cut stuff. They're... I, I lose! (Now we remember this is just a kid's game. So why is he being so serious?) Scissors cut paper. This is strips, this is not paper, I, I, this is not even paper, this is gonna take me forever to put back together. You got me! (This means "you beat me". His face looks like he is defeated.) Paper covers rock. (Now he changes his voice, as if he is a scientist, calling out his discovery to other scientists.) Rock is fine! No structural damage to rock! Rock can break through paper at any point! Just say the word. ("Say the word" means "give me the order".) Paper sucks! ("Sucks" means "it's no good" - he goes back to sounding like a child again.) It should be "rock, dynamite (an explosive) with a cuttable wick (the string attached to dynamite)... paper".

All of the humor here is because we ONLY think of "rock, scissors, paper" as a little game, not as a serious kind of fight. If it WERE a serious fight, then isn't Mr. Martin right? I would not want to be "Paper" in a fight against "Rock"! His idea of using dynamite is pretty good, isn't it?

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